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SPRING TRAINING

Shelley Duncan decides to see what pine tastes like before grabbing a spot on the bench after the Cleveland Indian first baseman struck out looking on March 20 in Goodyear, Ariz., against the Oakland Athletics.

photo by Scott Salisbury

Countdown Toward History

!! EUREKA !!

With Their 10th Win of the Season on Monday Night, a 90-84 Win Over the San Antonio Spurs, the New Jersey Nets Cannot Go Down in NBA Infamy With the Most Losses in a Single Season.

That Dubious Distinction Still Belongs to the 73 Losses of the 1972-73 Philadelphia 76ers.

'ANY DAY NOW; news that's bound to break'

'ANY DAY NOW; news that's bound to break'
A Sports Satire Blog By Christopher C. Wuensch

Thursday, June 18, 2009

STILL IN PROGRESS AT PRESS TIME...


TURNING OVER AN OLD LEAF


When you hear on Wednesday that Canadian Border Patrol agents have arrested Ryan Leaf, the natural instinct is to assume the former San Diego Charger quarterback was attempting to dodge U.S. law.

A flee-flicker if you would.

After all, Leaf is wanted in Canyon, Texas on one count of robbery and eight drug-related charges. While serving as quarterbacks coach for West Texas A&M, the No. 2 overall pick in the 1998 NFL draft -- behind No. 1 Peyton Manning -- allegedly broke into an injured player's house and stole the painkiller hydrocodone.

It's wrong to think Leaf would attempt to make a run for it. In his three-team, 25-game career, the Great Fall, Mont. native and man largely regarded as the biggest draft bust in NFL history rushed for a paltry 127 yards. That's an average of 2.2 yards per game. Couple his career QB rating of 50.0 (that's not very good at all), 36 interceptions and legendary temper and it comes as no surprise he'll be using part of his signing bonus to hire legal council.

That's if he hasn't already spent the $31.2 million he received from the Chargers.

It turns out, the man whose stat sheet is shorter than his rap sheet was trying to re-enter the United States en route to turning himself over to Texas authorities.

I propose that Leaf's entire extradition process be done using Canadian Mounties and Texas Rangers. That way, the entire trip can be done via horseback.

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